


Deck the Hells

by w00t4ewan



Category: The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: F/M, Holidays, Tah secret santa, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5507666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w00t4ewan/pseuds/w00t4ewan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank and Sadie are trapped in a blizzard when an old foe appears!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deck the Hells

_Who cares what evil lurks in the hearts of men?  
Unless evil's carrying the martini tray, darling! _

"Oh Frank darling, it is simply dreadful outside," Sadie pouted as she watched the blizzard outside. 

"That's alright, Sadie love. As long as I have you and liquor there's no storm I can't weather!" 

*clink*

"Well what are we supposed to do stuck in this cabin?" Sadie asked as she finished her drink. 

"Drink about it," Frank concluded as he refilled their glasses.

*clink*

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Sadie frowned, "Whoever could have found us all the way up here?"

"Whomever it is, I shall shoo them away so we can continue our Christmas traditions without them!" 

"Christmas traditions, Frankenstein?" Sadie asked with a shy smile. "I totally forgot it was also Thursday!"

"Say, Sadie. You don't suspect it is a ... B-E-E on the other side of that door, do you?"

"Why Frank, what would a bee be doing in a blizzard?"

"Suppose you're right," Frank shrugged. 

The knocking got louder. As Frank padded towards the door. He opened it as snow and chilly air flew in a large creature made it's way inside as well. 

"Now see here, fellow," Frank stated firmly, "My wife and I are on vacation. We don't want any trouble or anything more than each other, really."

"Sorry to bother you folks, especially on Christmas Eve," the creature said as it shook off a great deal of snow onto the floor. "I'm the abominable snowman. I live in these mountains, I saw the smoke from your chimney and I can for help."

"Oh Frank! An abominable snowman! How lovely!" 

"Alright sport, you've introduced yourself. There's the door, please leave."

"He asked for help, Frank," Sadie pleaded. "Let us hear him out."

"Why, thanks ma'am. You see, year round I live on this mountain by myself. It's okay, I don't mind a lonely life. But once a year this evil red man comes from the sky and reeks havoc on the town. It's my job to protect the people but this red man has an army of mutant animals that can fly! I hear you two can help in the monster department, maybe you can help me banish this demon once an for all?"

"Mr. Snowman, may I call you Mr Snowman? Are you saying you are afraid of Santa Claus?" Frank asked.

"Shh!" the snowman looked around in fright, "He who must not be named is near, he will come tomorrow night!"

"He who must not be named?" Sadie giggled. "Why Santa Claus is nothing but a jolly fat man who spreads cheer and gives children presents! Why ever would you be scared of him?"

Mr Snowman shook in terror, "Jolly? Cheer? Presents? Ma'am you have it all wrong! He who must not be named spreads fear and doom."

"I am beginning to think that we are talking about different people," Frank concluded. "I am also thinking this drink needs a refill."

"Oh! I will get it!" Sadie exclaimed as she filled their glasses. "One for me, two for you, two for me, and down they go!"

*clink*

While enjoying their drinks there was a noise from the chimney, a scratching noise, and then soot falling as if something, or someone was coming down.

"He's here!" Mr Snowman exclaimed. "He who must not be named!"

Just then giant red shoes appeared in the fireplace, followed by a red suit, and finally a familiar face. 

"For it is I, Nightmares the clown! I am here to feed off the joy and holiday spirit of the children of this..." Nightmares trailed off as he observed the members of the room.

Sadie clapped happily, "Te-he! Clown!" 

"Now, now, Sadie, let's not anger Santa Clown!" Frank reminded as he made his way behind the bar. 

"Frank and Sadie Doyle? My greatest foes?" Nightmares asked. "What are you doing in the mountains? You never leave your penthouse suite!"

Sadie and Frank thought for a moment, "That is a good question. Frankenstein, why did we decide to leave home to come to this cold, deserted cabin?"

"Sadie, I can't quite remember. One moment we were sipping martinis by the fire place and the next we were here...sipping martinis by the fire place."

"I summoned you," Mr Snowman said shyly. "I didn't know who else to call."

"It doesn't matter how they got here!" Nightmare reminded, "The fact is now they are alone and I can finally feast on their fear! Oh what fun it is to feast on your drunken fear tonight!"

"You are nothing but an adorable clown in a Santa suit! Do you do Christmas tricks? Can you pull an elf out of your sleeve? Do all of your reindeer fit in one car? Do you throw fruitcake instead of pies? Is Mrs. Claus going to spray you in the face with water? Oh I am so excited to see your spectacular holiday show! Sign me up!" Sadie giggled. 

"How many times do I have to tell you? I am not that type of clown!" Nightmares replied in a huff. 

"Well friend, you are out of luck. There is no fear here, just love and joy of being with my wife on the holidays," Frank smiled, still hiding partially behind the bar. 

"Ahh, yes. The love of Frank and Sadie Doyle. The one thing I haven't been able to defeat. Until now!" Nightmares laughed. 

"Frank, my drink. It tastes like, something else. Something I've never had before. Something like..."

"Water!" Nightmares exclaimed. 

"Frank gasped, "Water? Why I never! What have you done Nightmares?"

"I have replaced all liquor in this cabin with nothing more than plain, old water!" 

"Oh Frank! We will die of thirst!" Sadie said, suddenly worried. 

"Not if I have anything to do with it!" Mr Snowman piped up. "Abominable Snowmen have the power to turn snow into alcohol! As long as this blizzard continues, you will never go thirsty again!" 

"Say, I like this fellow," Frank smiled. 

"Then I shall have to feast on you, first!" Nightmares turned to Mr Snowman and drank in his fear until there was nothing left but a puddle on the floor. 

"See here," Sadie warned, pointing a finger at Nightmares, "No one comes in our house, turns our liquor into water, and eats our friends! It is time for you to leave!"

"Why? Feeling scared?" Nightmares laughed. 

"Us, scared?" Frank grinned. "Nothing comes between my wife and I! Not even all the water int he world!" 

"Yes, it is true," Sadie said as she made her way to Frank. "Even more than my love of liquor, is my love for Frank. It is more than even you could defeat."

*cue music*

_"Let us drink a drink until it's through,  
Let's drink a drink, to me and you,   
To keep us warm through all the snow,   
Let's drink a drink before we go."_

"No, stop singing!" Nightmares cried. 

_"Keep me warm in your arms,  
Keep me safe from any harm,  
Let us snuggle up by the fireside,  
And drink a drink."_

"Noooooo!" Nightmares began to shrink. 

_"No beastie, monster, nor ghost,  
Will ever boast,  
To have split us up,  
Our love will always fill our cups"_

"I beg you, stop!" Nightmares cried as he shrunk even smaller. 

_"Let's drink a drink till we can't see  
Let's drink a drink, to you and me,  
Happy holidays, full of joy and cheer,  
Let's drink a drink in to the new year!"_

"Oh Franklin Delanore Rigby Doyle, I love you," Sadie grinned as she kissed her husband. 

"And I, you, Sadie Parker Knickerhouse Doyle."

"No! Stop! Your love is too much!" Nightmares pleaded, now the size of a bug. 

"Shall I do the honors?" Sadie asked. 

"As always," Frank replied as he handed her his shoe. 

*Thwack* 

Just like that Nightmares was gone and Frank and Sadie were alone at last. 

"Frank darling, shall we test our drinks?" 

Frank poured two glasses, "What should we toast to, Sadie love?"

"Here's to us!" 

*clink*


End file.
